Hi Everyone, Here's my email which I've replied to client who has asked us some suggestions on their entrance decor for their event.
Hi XXX
It's always nice to hear from you. I am well thank you, and hope you are too.
Do you have any floor layout or dimension details for entrance? What colors will be used on your Event?
If it must be color, Arch will be the item we recommend to you. We have some colors available for rental so that you don’t have to purchase color fabrics and it would fit on your budget, too.
Here is the pricing on Arch 10’w x 10’h x 6’d $567 each for 7day rental plus sales tax and shipping
We also have Colonnade in colors for rental which you might be interested in. 9’h colonnade for rental is $381 each.
I've attached the spec both Arch and Colonnade. Please review the spec and let us know if there are anything we can help you with on your project. Thank you very much, Kahori
Rewrite Ver.1 (I will post the client's email later when I can access to my work email.)
Hi XXX
It's always nice to hear from you. I am well thank you, and hope you are too.
Arch will be the item we recommend to you. Arch comes with the color: white, Red, Cobalt Blue, Yellow, Paprika Orange or Avocado Green. Red and Cobalt Blue Arches are always our client’s favorite, and you might like them as well.
There is also a Colonnade in colors: white, Red, Neon Orange, Neon Pink, or Neon Green for rental.
Here is the pricing on Arch 10’w x ‘ 10’h x 6’d and Colonnade 9’h. 10’h Arch @$567 each for 7 days rental plus sales tax and shipping 9’h colonnade @$381 each for 7 days rental plus sales tax and shipping
I’ve attached the spec both Arch and Colonnade for your convenience.
If the available colors and size fit your event theme, it would meet your budget. We are able to provide a better suggestion if you can share a floor layout or dimension details on the space.
Please let us know if there is anything we can help you with on your project. Thank you very much Kahori
Hi all, Here is my email. Just as FYI, “Gratis” means gift in the cosmetics retail industry. Thank you and see you tomorrow. best,
Misumi
Subject: Inter-sell training gratis Request
Hi Jen,
I hope all is well. I just conducted the inter-sell training this morning. It was 40 people attend the training in the morning so could you please prepare 20 of each serum. May I pick those up from your office this afternoon? Thank you very much for your assistance in advance. Pease let me know if you have any question. Have a great day. Warm regards,
The Department training which we spoke about last time, had 40 people attended. Could you please prepare 20 of each serums for me to pick up at your office in this afternoon ?
During tropical storm 'Sandy', I had the pleasure of staying at your Grand Central Hotel. I really would like to commend all the staff that worked during that period, many of them staying at the hotel as they were unable to make it home. Their care and attention to my crew and the other guests was exemplary, and seemingly effortless, despite the workload and extra time they were putting in. I especially appreciated the way that the hotel seemed to welcome people that had lost power at homes in the south of Manhattan. They were allowed to charge laptops and phones, and use the wireless network. If I were to be caught in such trouble I know that I would appreciate the hospitality shown by all the staff. Please pass these comments on to Mr Fitzpatrick, and congratulate him on his recruitment policy. It obviously brings in the highest quality personel.
Donna to Mr. TOm
Dear Tom,
Just a quick note to thank you for your kind email. I’m delighted that you find our staff to be there for you and everyone at the Fitzpatrick Grand Central Hotel. I’m sure they really appreciate kind comments like yours. It was a pleasure looking after you and your crew during your stay and I hope to welcome you and everyone back in the not too distant future.
Best wishes,
John
Mr X to Donna
Donna
This does not work , we have standard letters that can be personalized please look at them
Thank you for your kind email. I’m delighted that you and everyone else find our staff to be very helpful during Hurricane Sandy. I have passed on your email to everyone at the Fitzpatrick Grand Central Hotel, and I’m sure they would really appreciate your kind comments. It was a pleasure looking after you and your crew during your stay. I am looking forward to welcoming you and everyone back in the not too distant future.
Thank you for your kind email. I’m delighted that you and everyone else find our staff to be very helpful during Hurricane Sandy. The staff really appreciate your kind comments. It was a pleasure looking after you and your crew during your stay. I am looking forward to welcoming you and everyone back in the not too distant future.
Original Email: From: Abedin, Huma [mailto:AbedinH@state.gov] Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2012 9:18 AM To: John Fitzpatrick Subject: Re: Our Trip Hi john - I'm so sorry I haven't responded Our advance went to look at residence and heard you've already held it and declan had called as well as he had mentioned it a few weeks ago. All great and thank you! First Draft of response. Hi Assistant to Secretary of State, Thanks for your email. I was able to put a room on hold since last Friday at the Residence, as I’m a member and knew it would be hard to find a place last minute. I just called the Residence to reconfirm everything and I heard someone from Declan’s office just called this morning to enquire about reserving a room for the dinner and the manager Allan informed them it had already been booked. If Declan would like to co-host the event, I would be delighted, if you want to have him give me a call to tie up the details. Look forward to seeing you soon. Best regards, John
Final Draft of response Hi Huma, Thanks for your email. As a member of the Residence, I was able to hold a room last week as I knew it would be hard to find a place at the last minute. I just called the Residence to reconfirm everything and I heard someone from Declan’s office just called this morning to enquire about reserving a room for the dinner. Allan, the manager informed them it had already been booked by me. Now If Declan would like to co-host the dinner with me, I would be delighted but if Declan would like to host it on his own, I have no problem stepping back. Whatever you and the Secretary decide Just let me know so I can inform Alan at the Residence Look forward to seeing you in Ireland Best regards, John
We will have a series of seminars which are organized by the northern region and are scheduled for a week starting on Monday, January 10th at 9AM. We are expecting a large audience to attend in most or special sessions of these seminars and I would like to ask you to arrange the following.
• Book a conference room to accommodate about 50-75 people. • Set A view graph and a slide projector at the meeting room • Place a long table for handouts on next to the inside of conference room entrance • Arrange refreshments –Coffee, tea, fruit, and some cookies
All expenses for these seminars should be charged to us at account number 11111-000. If you have any questions, contact me and also let me know once they are all arranged.
Memo #7 - Rewrite assignment SUBJECT: Conference room Please reserve a conference room for upcoming Northern Region hosted Seminars. Please also prepare some accommodations below in the conference room. All expense for these seminars should be charged to us, account number 1111-000. Seminar details: • Date: The week of Monday January 10th ( for whole week) • Starting time: 9:00 am • Number of attendance: 50-75 people (each day)
Room accommodation needs for whole week: • Projectors for using view graphs and slides • Long tables -please set inside and next to the conference room entrance • Refreshments I would appreciate if you could contact me once you arranged everything. Please feel free to call me if you have any questions. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
Hi Everyone,
ReplyDeleteHere's my email which I've replied to client who has asked us some suggestions on their entrance decor for their event.
Hi XXX
It's always nice to hear from you.
I am well thank you, and hope you are too.
Do you have any floor layout or dimension details for entrance?
What colors will be used on your Event?
If it must be color, Arch will be the item we recommend to you. We have some colors available for rental so that you don’t have to purchase color fabrics and it would fit on your budget, too.
Here is the pricing on Arch 10’w x 10’h x 6’d
$567 each for 7day rental plus sales tax and shipping
We also have Colonnade in colors for rental which you might be interested in.
9’h colonnade for rental is $381 each.
I've attached the spec both Arch and Colonnade.
Please review the spec and let us know if there are anything we can help you with on your project.
Thank you very much,
Kahori
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteCould you please post the original email that your client sent? Tell us a little bit about your client.
DeleteRewrite Ver.1 (I will post the client's email later when I can access to my work email.)
DeleteHi XXX
It's always nice to hear from you.
I am well thank you, and hope you are too.
Arch will be the item we recommend to you. Arch comes with the color: white, Red, Cobalt Blue, Yellow, Paprika Orange or Avocado Green. Red and Cobalt Blue Arches are always our client’s favorite, and you might like them as well.
There is also a Colonnade in colors: white, Red, Neon Orange, Neon Pink, or Neon Green for rental.
Here is the pricing on Arch 10’w x ‘ 10’h x 6’d and Colonnade 9’h.
10’h Arch @$567 each for 7 days rental plus sales tax and shipping
9’h colonnade @$381 each for 7 days rental plus sales tax and shipping
I’ve attached the spec both Arch and Colonnade for your convenience.
If the available colors and size fit your event theme, it would meet your budget.
We are able to provide a better suggestion if you can share a floor layout or dimension details on the space.
Please let us know if there is anything we can help you with on your project.
Thank you very much
Kahori
Rewrite Ver.2
DeleteHi XXX
Thanks for providing me the dimension over the phone earlier.
Arch and Colonnade will be the items we recommend to you. They come with the colors.
Here is the package for you with our best offer price.
Arch in Red 10’w x 10’h x 6’d and Colonnade in Red 9’h.
Total $948 for 7 days rental plus sales tax and shipping.
This fits your needs and your budget!
I’ve attached the spec and instructions both Arch and Colonnade for your convenience.
Please let us know if there is anything we can help you with on your project.
Thank you very much,
Kahori
Hi all,
ReplyDeleteHere is my email. Just as FYI, “Gratis” means gift in the cosmetics retail industry.
Thank you and see you tomorrow.
best,
Misumi
Subject: Inter-sell training gratis Request
Hi Jen,
I hope all is well.
I just conducted the inter-sell training this morning.
It was 40 people attend the training in the morning so could you please prepare 20 of each serum.
May I pick those up from your office this afternoon?
Thank you very much for your assistance in advance. Pease let me know if you have any question.
Have a great day.
Warm regards,
Misumi
Who is Jen? Is she your boss? Does she know that you conducted the training?
DeleteMaybe you should start your email with your request?
My Second draft:
DeleteHi Jen,
The Department training which we spoke about last time, had 40 people attended. Could you please prepare 20 of each serums for me to pick up at your office in this afternoon ?
Thank you very much for your help inadvance.
Warm regards,
misumi
ReplyDeleteTom to Mr.XXX
During tropical storm 'Sandy', I had the pleasure of staying at your Grand Central Hotel. I really would like to commend all the staff that worked during that period, many of them staying at the hotel as they were unable to make it home. Their care and attention to my crew and the other guests was exemplary, and seemingly effortless, despite the workload and extra time they were putting in. I especially appreciated the way that the hotel seemed to welcome people that had lost power at homes in the south of Manhattan. They were allowed to charge laptops and phones, and use the wireless network. If I were to be caught in such trouble I know that I would appreciate the hospitality shown by all the staff. Please pass these comments on to Mr Fitzpatrick, and congratulate him on his recruitment policy. It obviously brings in the highest quality personel.
Donna to Mr. TOm
Dear Tom,
Just a quick note to thank you for your kind email. I’m delighted that you find our staff to be there for you and everyone at the Fitzpatrick Grand Central Hotel. I’m sure they really appreciate kind comments like yours. It was a pleasure looking after you and your crew during your stay and I hope to welcome you and everyone back in the not too distant future.
Best wishes,
John
Mr X to Donna
Donna
This does not work , we have standard letters that can be personalized please look at them
ReplyDeleteYour email could be more formal. Try to change...just a quick note, to be there for you and everyone, and looking after you.
Rewrite to Tom.
DeleteDear Tom,
Thank you for your kind email. I’m delighted that you and everyone else find our staff to be very helpful during Hurricane Sandy. I have passed on your email to everyone at the Fitzpatrick Grand Central Hotel, and I’m sure they would really appreciate your kind comments. It was a pleasure looking after you and your crew during your stay. I am looking forward to welcoming you and everyone back in the not too distant future.
Sincerely,
John
Rewritten:
DeleteDear Tom,
Thank you for your kind email. I’m delighted that you and everyone else find our staff to be very helpful during Hurricane Sandy. The staff really appreciate your kind comments. It was a pleasure looking after you and your crew during your stay. I am looking forward to welcoming you and everyone back in the not too distant future.
Sincerely,
John
New Email Response:
ReplyDeleteOriginal Email:
From: Abedin, Huma [mailto:AbedinH@state.gov]
Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2012 9:18 AM
To: John Fitzpatrick
Subject: Re: Our Trip
Hi john - I'm so sorry I haven't responded
Our advance went to look at residence and heard you've already held it and declan had called as well as he had mentioned it a few weeks ago. All great and thank you!
First Draft of response.
Hi Assistant to Secretary of State,
Thanks for your email. I was able to put a room on hold since last Friday at the Residence, as I’m a member and knew it would be hard to find a place last minute. I just called the Residence to reconfirm everything and I heard someone from Declan’s office just called this morning to enquire about reserving a room for the dinner and the manager Allan informed them it had already been booked. If Declan would like to co-host the event, I would be delighted, if you want to have him give me a call to tie up the details.
Look forward to seeing you soon.
Best regards,
John
Final Draft of response
Hi Huma,
Thanks for your email. As a member of the Residence, I was able to hold a room last week as I knew it would be hard to find a place at the last minute. I just called the Residence to reconfirm everything and I heard someone from Declan’s office just called this morning to enquire about reserving a room for the dinner. Allan, the manager informed them it had already been booked by me. Now If Declan would like to co-host the dinner with me, I would be delighted but if Declan would like to host it on his own, I have no problem stepping back. Whatever you and the Secretary decide Just let me know so I can inform Alan at the Residence
Look forward to seeing you in Ireland
Best regards,
John
Memo #7 Re-write
ReplyDeleteSubject: Conference Room
We will have a series of seminars which are organized by the northern region and are scheduled for a week starting on Monday, January 10th at 9AM.
We are expecting a large audience to attend in most or special sessions of these seminars and I would like to ask you to arrange the following.
• Book a conference room to accommodate about 50-75 people.
• Set A view graph and a slide projector at the meeting room
• Place a long table for handouts on next to the inside of conference room entrance
• Arrange refreshments –Coffee, tea, fruit, and some cookies
All expenses for these seminars should be charged to us at account number 11111-000.
If you have any questions, contact me and also let me know once they are all arranged.
Thank you for your assistance in advance.
Memo #7 - Rewrite assignment
DeleteSUBJECT: Conference room
Please reserve a conference room for upcoming Northern Region hosted Seminars. Please also prepare some accommodations below in the conference room. All expense for these seminars should be charged to us, account number 1111-000.
Seminar details:
• Date: The week of Monday January 10th ( for whole week)
• Starting time: 9:00 am
• Number of attendance: 50-75 people (each day)
Room accommodation needs for whole week:
• Projectors for using view graphs and slides
• Long tables -please set inside and next to the conference room entrance
• Refreshments
I would appreciate if you could contact me once you arranged everything.
Please feel free to call me if you have any questions.
Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
Best,
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThose are some very good 1st drafts Kahori and Misumi. Here are some suggestions on how to divide the details, so it is more visible:
ReplyDeleteTIME:
9:00 -4:30 P.M
ROOM SIZE: (put the details..)
EQUIPMENT/SET UP:
REFRESHMENTS:
BILLING:
CONTACT TO CONFIRM: